Spending Valentine's with the one I love

Did I say I was leaving Chicago at 10am, flying to Washington DC and then arriving in Toronto at 3pm?

I'm sorry, I was mistaken. What I meant to say was, I would leave Chicago at 10am, fly to Washington DC and then arrive in Toronto at 3pm if that Washington - Toronto connection hadn't been cancelled twenty minutes ago ... which it had. For purposes of clarity, I should have said that I'm scheduled to take a direct Chicago - Toronto flight at 9pm tonight.

Mmm, 12 hours in Chicago O'Hare.

I'm thinking of changing my motto to
"Dave Bushnell: I get screwed over more by 7am than most people get screwed over all day."

It's a touch on the wordy side, so the font on my business card is going to be tiny!

Fig 1: I'd like to see Survivorman handle this with as much aplomb

Annoying + free = tolerable

You know what first class is? First class is an unending series of interruptions:

1. [while you're still on the tarmac] "Water or juice?"
2. [after take-off] "Something to drink?"
3. [five minutes later] "Warm nut assortment?"
4. [and then] "Refill on that drink?"
5. "Hot towel?"
   
6. "Would you like the curry chicken salad or the open-face pulled pork sandwich?"
7. "Refill on that drink?"
8. "Warm cookie and milk?"
9. "Refill on that drink?"

I wanted to nap, but I was afraid I was going to miss something. Wah wah, first class.

We were late leaving Orange County and late arriving in Chicago. By the time we landed in Chicago, my connection to Toronto had been cancelled for hours. I had two concerns while standing in the customer service line: I wanted to get on a non-standby flight to Toronto, and I kinda wanted to be in first class again. Yeah, it was annoying, but the odds are astronomical of again sitting in front of that woman with the penetrating Chicago accent reading "Little House on the Prairie" to her adopted Chinese daughter. (Really: I was wearing noise-cancelling headphones and her accent pierced my high-technology and nearly drove me crazy.) Also, it'd be free. Annoying + free = tolerable.

Dumb and mean

Normal airports are bad enough with their unattractive people and their too-loud, too-many conversations, but the Las Vegas airport has that little something extra: slot machines! Everywhere! Why, it's a veritable wonderland of sensory overload!

Taking the shuttle last night from the Edmonton airport to the Travelodge, I fought back some guilt: If I were checking in at 10pm only to check out at 4am, wouldn't that be kind of a waste of money? Could I not just sleep in the airport?

Yes, I could have slept in the airport, but that bed was so good. I'm reminded of that because I want nothing more than a bed right now. A bed and quiet. Those two things, one or both or either, would be heavenly. It's not the unattractive people who bug me; it's their conversations. I actually quite like all the unattractive people. That's one reason I like airports: so many more unattractive people to see! It's like a zoo. Unattractive people come from all over the world to parade themselves for my amusement. Even more beautiful is that they have to sit in airliners to get here, so they've got that little extra bit exhaustion that adds immeasurably to their unattractiveness.

Holy shit these people next to me are so unattractive and so boring.

A couple in matching sweatsuits just walked by.

I LOVE YOU.