Because the Harrison Ford Finger-Pointing Website is down

There's no way all these accents will appear correctly

Sorry for my absence! I was somewhat bummed over a break-up, but downright despondent over not being able to find Têtes Lourdes, a compilation of "Français Metal de Proto: Le Super rock Serie 1970".

I'd heard some tracks off Têtes Lourdes on WFMU at some point last year, but my research went nowhere: The album was released on CD-R by some label called "Seidr" (which has no website, natch) and was available in extremely limited quantities in your finer record shops (of which Saskatoon has zero). I found a record shop in England that appeared to have copies for sale, but their response to my email told me otherwise. I checked Usenet and the usual BitTorrent suspects but came up empty. If I hadn't been out of the loop so very long from FMU, I would have emailed one of their dj's to ask if they could burn me a copy, but there would be something undignified about that. Still, the tracks I'd heard were so good, and the unattainability of this album was maddening!

Girls come and go, but super-obscure French proto metal ... er, "Français metal de proto" ... now that's something to lose sleep over.

Long story short: Two months ago Googling "tetes lourdes torrent" would have returned nothing. Now, Googling "tetes lourdes torrent" returns a music blog called Crotchbat, which appears to specialize in foreign psych and heavy rock from the 60s and 70s and, sure enough, Têtes Lourdes was there.

There's lots of awesomeness on the album, but for sheer what-the-fuck, I like the song Zeppelin Party by Quo Vadis.

Now, as delightful as that song is, compare it to the performance by Soundtracapella on The Best Show on WFMU from a few years ago. The parallels are eerie ... and hilarious. I want to see more covers of songs using the song's title or the original band's name as the only lyrics. Fuck, now I know what I have to do the next time I go karaoke-ing.

It reminds me of something my friend Didi did when were 9: He'd make songs of tv themes, using the title of the show as lyrics. And he'd sing them with his older brother. Sometimes they'd tape themelves singing these songs. I'm still haunted by their rendition of the theme to Benson. I'd pay top dollar for one of those tapes. And by "top dollar" I mean "one dollar, tops." We're not talking about Français metal de proto here.

Welcome, people looking for "put-your-wii-in-my-xbox.com"!

Oh, what a crazy fun world.

In order to fill some space in this week' Sheaf, the News Editor wrote a "2006 Year in Review", basically a list of notable events from the last year. I felt it needed a little something extra and, remembering the old Esquire magazines of my youth, wrote punchline headlines for each item. They were delightfully hit-or-miss, and some items had to be removed because the only jokes to make about them are completely tasteless. (If you ask nicely, I'll tell you what I came up with for September's Montreal school shooting.) One item that caused me undue stress was about the introduction of Nintendo's Wii; the punchline should have written itself, really. So what to do?

The Arts Editor mentioned that he was trying to convince his Internet entrepreneur friend to create a videogame porn site called "put-your-wii-in-my-xbox.com". That's sort of an idea for a punchline headline: "Sadly, put-your-wii-in-my-xbox.com is already taken" ... Except it wasn't taken. We checked. So I paid the $6 and registered it. And I paid the $6 to register "putyourwiiinmyxbox.com" for good measure.

Not having the inclination to create the videogame porn site that these domains are clearly begging for, I decided to point the domains to my blog. Because why not? And where else would I point them? What's that? You don't know? That's right you don't know. I'm of half a mind to tell you where you can stick it.

Hmm ... maybe I should register "stick-your-wii-in-my-xbox.com" while I'm at it.