The second season of Venture Brothers started this evening. It was totally and completely awesome.

I got back from NYC last night around 8, and not a moment too soon. Oh, did I ever get caught in a thuderstorm. Oh, was my umbrella little protection. Oh, I could have sworn "waterproof" means "waterproof".

My ipod is in dry-out mode. Yesterday it still had water inside the screen, and not just a few drops from condensation. There was quite a bit of water in there, enough that I tilt the ipod and see the water move around inside, trying to find its level. The water moved slowly, though, which made it seem like one of those desktop-wave-things, with the blue liquid slowly sloshing against the clear liquid.

Please tell me you know what I'm talking about.

Other than the rain, a couple of days in the city was nice. Shopping was good. Food was good. Erase Errata were good, but didn't get great until the encore, when they were joined by their original guitarist. The show was booked to coincide with Pride Weekend, and I had fun imagining they were celebrating not gay pride, but the Japanese ultimate fighting series. Hell, in Japan they probably do get rock bands to play shows in anticipation of Pride. The Japanese are wacky that way.

Rock and roll! Cats! Interstate familial intrigue!

On Friday I'm going into the city to see an Erase Errata show, and I'm spending the night at my sister's place -- it's a quid pro quo, because I also have to catsit. (My brother-in-law got tickets to a super-secret Robert Pollard show in Chicago, so they're heading there for a couple of days.)

They've got two cats, which in my opinion is two cats too many, but because A) all my worst grades are in math, and B) I'm not a big fan of cats, my math-based cat opinions don't carry much weight.

This evening my sister sent me an email with a partial list of instructions for catsitting. It's a totally awesome list, breaking down as follows:

1. keys
2. doormen
3. locks
4. sneaky cats
5. hungry cats
6. tv
7. computer
8. air conditioner

and then right after #8, there's this:

********VERY IMPORTANT: If any members of Victor's family calls (let the machine pick up regardless when the phone rings), call Victor or me IMMEDIATELY on our cells:

Me: [phone number]

V: [phone number]

And tell us who called (They don't know we'll be out of town---long story---they don't support his musical excursions.)

and then as if nothing ever happened, we go right back to

9. frozen pizzas in the freezer

Like I said, it's an awesome list.

Amy Sedaris on Letterman, Wednesday night

Amy Sedaris is going to be on Letterman on Wednesday. As of this writing, that's 23 hours from now. I think this is most advance notice I've ever had of an Amy Sedaris appearance on Letterman, so I thought I'd share. Now you share something.

And no, they're not rerunning it later.

I was really disappointed when I turned on the tv and saw that Spring Break Shark Attack was ending in 20 minutes. So then I went to Ebay to see if it's available on dvd. There were dozens of copies for like $7 each. And then I felt a little ashamed that I had gone to Ebay to check.

But hey, the new season of "Venture Brothers" starts next week

As far as I'm concerned, the evolution of tv has reached its zenith with Fuse's "Pants Off Dance Off". Here's how it works:

1. One by one, average folks stand in front a green screen.
2. On the green screen, a video is played.
3. As the video plays, the person dances and sheds clothing.

The physiques are truly unspectacular and the dancing is ridiculously clumsy. Basically, it's the closest tv has come to depicting a night out with me.

The show is super low-budget (it's from the guy who created "Pop-Up Video", after all) and so Fuse is playing up to four episodes per night. That's all well and good, but it means they're not showing nearly enough episodes of "The Nighttime Clap", which is a loose collection of comedy bits by NYC comedians.

I was hooked after the first episode, where Kristen Schaal was complaining about the price of Madonna tickets. Tickets were $384.50 apiece, so she was describing the other things you could do with $384.50. One thing you could do with $384.50 is put it in the bank, and at current interest rates you would have $1200 in 2026. "What can you get with $1200 in 2026? Nothing! In 2026 everything's going to cost A MILLION DOLLARS!" Another thing you could do with $384.50 is play "Kobe Beef Hopscotch" -- then it showed her hopping on raw steaks on the sidewalk, singing "Meat! Meat! Under my feet!"

Sadly, other than "The Nighttime Clap" and small doses of "Pants Off Dance Off", satellite tv is really disappointing. Considering that; and considering it's either too hot or too rainy to do anything outside; and considering caterpillars have taken over the vast majority of Greene County, rendering the mountain trees leafless and sad; then it's all too clear that I have to read books. Hey, I'm not any happier about that than you are. Believe me, reading was near the bottom of the list of things I wanted to do this summer, right there with "Get hooked on World Cup soccer" and "Get chlamydia".

Aw crap. Full disclosure time: I've already started reading and I'm a sucker for ESPN2's all-day futbol coverage, so I'm afraid Saskatoon's Sexual Souvenir(TM) can't be far behind. It was nice knowin' ya!

Revenge of the Nerds V: Nerds Watching Late Night Television

The most noticeable difference between Ashland, NY, and Saskatoon, SK? In Ashland, there's satellite tv, so I'm more likely to stay up for Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love. Yeah, I'm as disappointed as you are. I mean, I never thought Booger would be the type to get married. It's like a slap in the face after years of character development. Personally, I like to think the Revenge of the Nerds series ended about three minutes before the end of Revenge of the Nerds III: The Next Generation. Come on, that whole thing at the end where Stan Gable admits to always wanting to be a nerd? That was sooo done already with Ogre in Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise!

It took me two weeks to write this? Hmm, I guess it did

For the next week, Crumpler is accepting beer in lieu of cash for their bags. I imagine it doesn't apply for mail order, which is too bad but also not too bad because they're really specific about the beers they want and the bags you can get for them. Fr'instance, for a case of Sapporo and a bottle of soy sauce you can get a Moderate Embarrassment (not to be confused with the Considerable Embarrassment or the Dreadful Embarrassment).

At a show recently I was critiquing the bands based on looks. A friend asked if I "played for both teams"; apparently some people are suspicious of a heterosexual man being able to judge another man's looks. Personally, I think it's just Aesthetics: The Game Anyone Can Play(TM). But looking at the Crumpler site, it occurs to me that I do like bags.

I think it's what the bags signify. A bag conveys two messages:

1. I own stuff.
2. I have somewhere to go.

(The popular corollary "My stuff needs to come with me to my destination" is largely nonsensical and is herewith dismissed.)

I bought a new garment bag recently. I do love my roll-up garment bag, but its claim that it meets the size specifications for carry-on luggage was a total lie. If I'm going to have to check a garment bag, then it might as well be one that can fit more than two suits. Oh, and as for its claim that "SkyRoll was designed to carry enough clothing for trips up to three day"? That's only true if you're visiting a nudist resort AND if you're going to wear the same clothes on the trip back that you did on the trip there. Good luck with the latter; most nudist resorts have lousy laundry facilities.