Inscrutable? Whatever, I'll scrute it

I'm watching the workprint of Rob Zombie's Halloween remake. You know what's not very good? The workprint of Rob Zombie's Halloween remake.

You know what else they're remaking? (Besides Sharky's Machine, I mean.) They're remaking April Fool's Day, and they're making it bigger and better than ever! Instead of 13 cast members, they'll have 26! Why? Because why not! The first one was nice because it had the feel of a movie you could make with your friends over the course of a long weekend. This new one will feel like a movie you could make with your friends, if your friends looked like this douche:

Fig. 1: Remake co-director/co-writer Mitchell Altieri giving the gang-sign for "Cthulhu Spawn"

80's scream queen Kelli Maroney has added me on Facebook. I got drunk and wrote her an email a few months ago, something along the lines of "You rocked Night of the Comet! Rock on, super-fox!" and now my past has caught up with me.

She was pretty great in Chopping Mall, too.

I know way too much about horror movies. Next post? All Proust.