I'm keeping it

I got a haircut yesterday that started off interestingly.

You know how you sit in the chair and the stylist/barber/whatever moves around you? I'd call it "heliocentric" because A) that word doesn't get used enough, and B) it reinforces my belief that I am my own Sun God.

Well, forget all that. Yesterday my stylist/barber/whatever was a downright heathen. He stood in one place and rotated the chair as the need struck him. This was the opposite of heliocentrism. It was geocentrism.

"Geocentric" is an ugly word and used even less frequently than "heliocentric." I actually had to look up "heliocentric" on Wikipedia because I didn't know the word for "revolves around the earth." There shoould be a slogan, something along the lines of "Geocentric: Not as cool as heliocentric."

There's a reason why we rejected astronomical geocentrism; it's because it's wrong. Likewise, we should reject follicular geocentrism. Why? Because instead of looking like Will Arnett on last week's 30 Rock, I look like Will Arnett on an aggressive course of chemotherapy. Wearing sunglasses, I look like Richie Tenenbaum after he tried to kill himself. At work in a blue dress shirt, I look like I'm doing layout on a day-furlough from prison.

That's all I got.

Oh, I bought a car last Friday.