Dream lover

If I hadn't made a vow to refrain from writing about my dreams, I'd write about the fatal flaw in lucid dreams: The supporting characters know only as much as your subconscious knows, so if your subconscious knows you're awesome, your lucid dreams' characters will all think you're awesome, too. Having people think you're awesome is delightful in real life, but in dreams it turns lunch with Joe Strummer or sex with your eighth grade teacher into underwhleming experiences. (Although considering those individuals are now dead and old, respectively, I suppose "underwhelming" would be an accurate description.)

But yeah, I made that vow about refraining from writing about my dreams, so I'll not write about the fatal flaw in lucid dreams. Truth be told, I don't think that vow would hold up in court anyway.