I'm on it

I was watching the NBA Finals this evening because the Cleveland Cavaliers were about to lose the championship in front of their home fans, and I'm a bad enough man to enjoy watching season ticket holders be disappointed. During a commercial break I saw the worst ad I've ever seen in my life.

It had two McDonald's Filet-o-Fish sandwiches sitting next to each other on a table. The dialogue went a little something like this:

Sandwich A: "Filet-o-Fish."
Sandwich B: "Filet-a-Fish."
Sandwich A: "No. Filet-o-Fish."
Sandwich B: "Filet-a-Fish."
Sandwich A: "Repeat after me: Filet-o-Fish."
Sandwich B: "Filet-a-Fish."
Sandwich A: "Filet-o-Fish."
Sandwich B: "Filet-a-Fish."
Sandwich A: "Filet-o-Fish."
Sandwich B: "Filet-a-Fish."

It went on like that for thirty seconds.

When I watch tv, I sometimes fantasize that I'm a rock star in a hotel room because then I could kick in the picture tube and throw the tv out the window. This was one of those times. Instead of giving in to my baser instincts, I actually visited the McDonald's website and navigated to the correct contact page so that I could send them an email letting them know that this was the worst ad I'd ever seen. (I also mentioned that I like the Quarter Pounder With Cheese -- hey, I do -- so maybe I'll get a coupon.)

I've taken to emailing corporatons when they displease me. Until recently I was a member of Zip.ca, the shitty NetFlix rip-off that Canadians have to use if they want to rent dvd's by mail. I cancelled my membership when I left Saskatoon, but I kept getting their pointless "hot new releases!" email newsletter. I followed the unsubscribe link and unchecked "send me your pointless email newsletter". The next week, I got another pointless "hot new releases!" email newsletter. I again followed the unsubscribe link. The next week, another newsletter. I went to the Zip website and finally found the page from which I could send them an email; they did not make it easy. I received a confirmation email that sounded like it was written by a person, indicating that they'd take care of it.

Guess what I got the week after that.

No, go ahead. Guess.

Another goddamn pointless "hot new releases!" email newsletter. I again went to their website and filled an email with as much profanity as I could think of, in addition to telling them in no uncertain terms that their company was a pathetic Netflix rip-off that I'd never join again if I moved back to Canada. I even wrote some parts in ALL CAPS, which is somewhat more embarrassing than repeatedly using the f-word in an email to a 3rd rate dvd-rental company.

I received the requisite confirmation email (again sounding like it was written by a real human) and it was great because it was worded in way that made it sound like they were apologizing to me for my salty language. I think if I'd mentioned how much I like Quarter Pounders, they would have sent me a coupon for one, somehow.