If I go to grad school, this post will bite me in the ass

These were the things on my "to-do list" today: Install fibreglass insulation; buy plumbing supplies.

Exciting, yes.

No, wait. I meant, "Exciting, no. In fact, the opposite of exciting. Mundane. Tiresome. And worst of all, non-remunerative."

It didn't matter when I started the day, though. When I started the day I felt alive and excited. I embraced the mundane, tiresome, non-remunerative items on the to-do list.

The reason why: That night I dreamed it was the first day of school.

Ugh. I can't think of any individual day worse than the first day of school. Note to my future children (and those living ones who claim to be mine): Stay in school. I'm getting to my point.

When I woke up, I felt alive, excited, blah blah blah, because I never have to endure another first day of school. Today could have been the day I was supposed to report to jail, and I still would have welcomed the day. As horrible as the nightmare was, the fact that it could never ever ever never ever (ever) come true makes it into an affirmation that makes the Serenity Prayer look like an Ann Coulter personals ad.

A couple of weeks ago I had a similar school nightmare: I was hanging out with friends when I remembered I had a final exam. I showed up at the exam with time running out, having not studied a single page. Hell, I didn't even know what class it was for. But I woke up, and it was awesome. No exams for me that day! Or any other day, every again.

I really wish my friends and family who have degrees would have told me about this. If I'd known getting my degree would mean having THE BEST DREAMS EVER ... well, I still would have taken my sweet time getting my degree, but at least I would have had something to look forward to.

Tomorrow I have to use the pumbing supplies I purchased today. I hope tonight I dream about having an assignment due, or maybe having to take Calculus II again, because I'm really not looking forward to plumbing.