Up in the corner it says, "Instant Win Game & Sweepstakes." I don't know if anyone can be a considered a winner in this situation

I have a feeling that this won't work in Canada, which is too bad because most of my nemeses live in the Great White North. But yeah, if you're going to sign somebody up, please please let me know. And please don't sign me up. Or do. In fact, I insist you do. But don't tell me. And if it doesn't work in Canada, then just call me twice a day and tell me to lose weight by eating delicious sandwiches.