"And if I could touch your hand, this rock would turn to sand, so this is where we stand"

I had to buy an new iPod (I had to!) because my old iPod was getting screwy. I bought a video iPod. The first video I put on it was this.

I am absolutely in love with this clip. I don't care if Slobodan Milosevic was or was not the choreographer, nor if Michel Gondry was or was not one of the dancers. What I care about:

1) The host.

He looks like the sort of guy who kidnaps martial artists and has them fight to death in a tournament he hosts on his private island, but the turtleneck and jacket suggest he just wants to putter around the house this weekend.

2) The guy

It's an old stereotype that people of one race can't distinguish between people of other races. For me, that's not the case ... except when it comes to Scandinavian men. Honestly, I can't tell if this is one of ABBA boys, the dude from Blue Swede, or some new guy entirely. Regardless, his English (and hair) is fantastic. Wish I could say the same for ...

3) The girl

Clearly the product of a Finnish initiative to clone Diff'rent Strokes star Dana Plato, this woman is far too cheery for someone who has just sung the words "How can I be sure you're not pretender? [sic] You want me today, but what about tomorrow?"

Maybe she's happy because of ...

4) The dancers.

They are totally insane. They're like a cult. They start off with what looks like a really unmotivated (and unsynchronized) calisthenics routine, and then they get weirder and weirder. Case in point:

And that's just the first in a series of completely ridiculous, unrelated, and flawlessly sequential dance moves. If I had the inclination, I'd do more research on this show because I need to know if these were just session dancers or if they were the Finnish equivalent of the Solid Gold Dancers.

Speaking of which, when are they going to release DVD's of Solid Gold and/or Dance Fever? I don't remember anyone clamoring for Highway to Heaven, but they're up to Season 3 for that show, so what's the deal?

The More You Know: I also put some episodes of The Venture Bros on the iPod, but they're intentionally funny, and thus less suited to my snarky blogging skills.