What I learned from watching 45 minutes of children's television this morning:

1) You can strap a parachute to a dog and push him out a plane, and the dog will land safely and manage to unstrap himself once he lands.

2) Fruit is "sport candy" and my lifestyle is ruinous.

3) Some people are like the Littlest Hobo. And even if they're not, it's best to think of them that way.

4) Bowling is considered physical activity. Have the producers ever seen what professional bowlers look like?

5) If the government exiles you from town, you have to accept it and return to your flying fortress. Since when do good guys have flying fortresses? Yeah, I think children's tv is crazy. Proof? Try ...

6) If you escape from police custody, a canny dog can tell that you're being framed for murder.