We'll call this round a draw

My cold is getting neither better nor worse. I tried to sleep for most of the afternoon, but was largely unsuccessful and ended up lumbering around in a Nyquil zombie haze. I was unsure if [whatever I was feeling] was the cold or the Nyquil.

I tried the old "feed a cold" remedy, but I started running out of food. I made a heavenly vegetable curry in response, but am hesitant to gorge on it for fear of running out too quickly. I wanted to try adding spaghettini to the curry after seeing Jillian do that a couple of weeks ago -- heretofore I've been a staunch curry-with-rice advocate -- but the only pasta I have in the house is rotini. My curry-with-rotini is comical, but delicious like you wouldn't believe.

I'm awaiting delivery of my new record player (or "turntable" for you kids). Getting screwed over by FedEx is a new and wondrous experience, compared to my now-routine screwing over by UPS; who knows what mind-fuckery FedEx will attempt? On Friday I got the "Delivery attempted while you were out" sticker, so I called and asked them to re-attempt on Tuesday (you know, today). After my class this morning I came home and got doped up (see first paragraph) and waited for my new record player (or "turntable" for you kids). Around 3:30 I started getting anxious, so I checked the tracking details online. Check it out:

Date/Time

Activity

Location

Details

Oct 14, 2005

8:31 PM

Delivery exception

EDMONTON, AB

Customer not available or business closed

2:01 PM

Delivery exception

SASKATOON, SK

Customer not available or business closed

Edmonton! It's my understanding that the drive from Saskatoon to Edmonton takes ... a lot of hours ... more than six and a half, certainly ... so either the driver flipped out and stole a rocket car along with my package, or the driver drove to the airport and stuck my package on an Edmonton-bound plane. I called FedEx and the customer service dude was baffled. He also noted that my package was not on an outgoing truck today, ie my package was not going to be delivered today, despite Friday's request to the contrary.

And see, I have a plan for the next time I'm going to get screwed by UPS. I'm going to have to drive out to their depot for sure, so I'll wear a shirt on which I will have written "Fuck UPS", and they'll be upset, and I'll say, "No, it's not 'Fuck the United Parcel Service'. It's 'Fuck-ups' -- it's the name of my band!" and they'll be happy and I'll be murdering them with my mind. As B-grade an idea as that is (ok, maybe low-B, high-C), I've yet to give thought to a similar shirt for FedEx. I don't even know where to begin with such a shirt. Perhaps I've devoted too much thought to this as it is.