Pot roast, why must you tease me so?

It's 2:13 am, so predictably I am dying for some pot roast. I'm not stoned, I've eaten well today, and I'm about to go to bed, but for some reason I've been craving pot roast for the last ten minutes. If I had a car I could cruise around town until I came to an all-night diner, but ... yeah, no car. If I were even less responsible with money I could take a cab to Denny's, assuming Denny's is open at this hour, and then I could treat the cabbie to some pot roast, too.