Lies our parents told us

On the Something Awful forums, someone started a post titled "Retarded lies your parents told you as a child, but you believed".

When I was around 5 or 6, I was making jokes in the car when my dad told me that a policeman once gave him a ticket for telling jokes in the car. I stopped joking there and then!

Come on, I was a kid!

I was thinking of posting that story until I saw this one:

My mom told me the Ice Cream Truck was The Music Truck. And little boys had to get up and dance when they heard it or else the Music Man (who I pictured as a fat man with a big curly moustache in lederhosen) would come out and get you. He would turn you into a monkey and make you dance for the rest of your life.

I could never figure out why she was laughing so hard while I danced for my life!

I cannot wait to have kids and tell them this story. Hell, I can't wait for my friends to have kids so I can tell them this story.


Note: my dad's story about the little boy and the severed penis in the public washroom would be the most memorable lie I could post, but the thread was titled "Retarded lies ... ", not "Absolutely horrifying lies ... "

Thanks, pop!