The "S" is for "Suck", I think

Dear UPS,

You suck. A lot. You're the poster child for corporate sucking. I'm tempted to buy stock in you because any company that reams the public as thoroughly as you do must surely be raking in the dough. Your truck drivers are self-centered idiots who will look for any excuse to avoid delivery of a package. Your telephone operators are dolts who should be sent back to the glass-sorting plant. Brown is an ideal choice for your company's colors, inspiring thoughts of feces and Brownshirts.

UPS, you suck. I'd burn down your building in Saskatoon, but it's out in the middle of fucking nowhere and it would cost me $30 in cab fare to get there and back -- oh, that's another reason why you suck.

I hate you sincerely,
David Y. Bushnell