Ars Gratia Artis

My desire for a nice bowling theme for my livingroom is unrealistic because I'm unable to find acceptable bowling art on Ebay.

Take these two prints:

Sure, the ladies are lovely, but they're only tangentially related to bowling. How is anyone supposed to take me seriously as a fake bowler if I've got prints of amateur bowlers on my walls?

What I need is real bowling cred, and for that I'd need to go to the O.B. (Original Bowler, duh), Dick Weber. I found this gorgeous piece on Ebay ...

... but it's only 7 inches by 11 inches. If it were 7 feet by 11 feet, then we'd have something. Then we'd have the start of a respectable bowling theme by a lousy sometime bowler who'd like to convince acquaintances of his deep and abiding love of the pins, however fraudulent and utterly pointless that display of love may be.

But yeah, 7" by 11". So maybe I'll go with a Frank Frazetta barbarian theme instead.

Hell yeah!

Of course, I'm still hopeful I'll find a nice black velvet portrait of Elvis crying. I suppose if I were a true patron of the arts, I'd commission a black velvet portrait of Elvis crying as he battles the hordes of the undead on horseback (in a bowling alley), but with my luck I'd accidentally hire a Cubist and then it'd be back to Ebay for me.