Mmm ... $12 for Eggs Benny

Just accidentally deleted a very long post. This hotel sucks. This laptop is weird and wrong. Why didn't I bring a book? Why didn't I bring my own laptop? Can I just hide for the rest of the weekend? I hate talking to strangers, but I hate talking to family even more: how many ways can I couch my language to make them think my life isn't a complete failure? Is it possible to open any of the windows in this hotel? It's like THX-1138 in here! The outside air is natural but it's bad; the inside air is fake but it won't give me cancer. Is that a dichotomy or a paradox or just a "Go figure"?

I had breakfast this morning with my aunt and grandmother. They grilled me about dating in the age of HIV/AIDS. That was a blast. What do I know about anything? I felt like such a fraud, talking about relationships in front of a divorcee and a widow.

Ulyana and Bridesmaid #2 took off for some errand-running, as did my other sister, mom, aunt, auntie, and grandmother. I'm alone here for another four hours or so. My dad is somewhere in this hotel, but I'd rather be alone than force cordiality.

Having to share a room with Taissa means going to sleep early, means headaches when I wake up. Grar.

Wish I'd brought a bathing suit. Or a book. Or my own laptop. Goddamn. I'd watch pay-per-view porn, but porn is so boring. I'm tempted to watch other, non-porn, pay-per-view movies, but I already had the "too much money for too little return" experience at breakfast this morning.

If you loved me, you'd email me.

Although I suppose if loved you, I'd email you. So, uh, nevermind.

In addition to the Gideons' Bible in the nightstand, there's also a Book of Mormon. Neither book touts itself as being free for the taking (I could have sworn the Bibles used to be), but I'm totally making off with the Book of Mormon. Flipping through it I can't see any references to getting with lots of chicks at the same time, but it must be in there someplace. Usually you have to deal with actual Mormons to get a Book of Mormon, and in my life I've seen only one that was pretty and she probably didn't put out anyway. Gah! I'm so terrible.

Maybe a candy bar will lift my spirits. Candy is good for so many things!