Roll the stone, Lassiter

I just spent the better part of an hour feeling superior to Sisyphus.

My mom wants to have the rose bushes growing in a larger area, so part of the rock wall has to move. So there I was, filling up the wheelbarrow with rocks, dragging it over, dumping it out, doing it again. There was one very large stone that I couldn't lift (and you think you could, eh? Psh.) so I had to roll it over. Thankfully it stayed where I left it; suck it, Sissy-phus, ya Greek pansy.

It was reasonably hot and ridiculously humid, so I was perspiring like a madman. My undahpants and shorts were soaked ... with pee! Just kiddin' -- it was actually sweat, but if you think about it, sweat is like the skin's pee.

That sounds like an Elameno Tee. Oh, Elameno Tees ...

Calibos from Clash of the Titans reminds me of Crazy Billy from Six Feet Under. And all the babes in Clash of the Titans remind me that they're supposed to be Mediterranean women, and thus could probably use their leg hair to thatch roofs. Sadly, that does little to temper their babeliciousness. And no, I'm not including Harry Hamlin in that. I know he's got long hair and a skirt, but that doesn't make him a woman.

On a completely unrelated note (though Freud might argue otherwise), I've been hot dog crazy these last few days. Can't get enough of 'em. I think it's because I'll be going into the city a couple of times next week and I'm looking forward to Gray's Papaya and their delicious hot dogs 'n' juice. Oh, AND ... Mom and I are going to Dia-Beacon this Friday. (This'll come back to hot dogs eventually; don't worry.) I always thought my mom hated modern art, but maybe she wants to go because she hasn't been sufficiently irked by the lousy editing in the NY Times, the choice of Master's theses by girls I knew in 8th grade, or the amount of paperwork required for her insurance. I think they're having a Warhol show -- maybe she's always been a secret fan of the Velvet Underground? Sweet! Anyway, I checked the Dia-Beacon website to get info and directions. They're open 6 days a week, but we have to go between Friday and Sunday because they sell gourmet hot dogs on those days. That's right, gentle reader: gourmet hot dogs.

The hot dogs, from Koglins Royal Hams in Grand Central Market, feature homemade relishes, cole slaw, chili, and gourmet ketchup, and mustard. All hot dogs are prepared in an herbed broth with garlic, onion, celery salt, coriander, pepper corns and bay leaves.

I wonder whether they intentionally put in the comma after "gourmet ketchup" -- including it makes it sound like "gourmet ketchup ... and there's mustard, too, I guess"; without the comma it would be read as "gourmet ketchup and [gourmet] mustard", which makes more sense, especially since mustard is traditionally preferred over ketchup by hot dog purists.

Hot dog craziness ain't pretty, I tell ya. Get the facts. Learn the warning signs. It's never too late to save a loved one.