Hurray for me -- now what?

Ulyana told me that as Groomsman #3, I'm entitled to some sort of gift.

"Do you want an iPod or something?"
"Gah! Those are expensive. How about an iPod Shuffle? Wait, I already have an iPod; I don't need another one." (It's easy to get carried away when you hear, "Do you want an iPod?")

So yeah, I have no idea what the hell to ask for. In general I'm uncomfortable asking for presents, but asking for something is better than being surprised. For my birthday a couple of years ago, Ulyana got me the first season of Oz on dvd. It's a great show, but it's a little creepy to give prison rape as a birthday present.

I want something nice (I think this is true of anyone about to receive a gift) and I want something that will remind me of the occasion. The first season of 21 Jump Street fits the first criterion but not the second. A picture frame fits the second but not the first. The only thing that comes to mind that fits both is a tattoo with the name and/or likeness of the prostitute I will have had sex with after the reception. I'd pay for the hooker out of my own pocket, of course; Ulyana and Victor have enough planning to do as it is without also supplying the dames.

Which is to say, yes, I did watch the first episode of the new HBO series Cathouse. There were a couple of girls who were kinda cute (though one gal's boobs looked good only when she stayed upright -- an uncommon position in her line of work), but I can't see paying $1500 for an hour of sex. For $1500, I could get a big tv and enough booze to make myself forget that I'm not having sex. And then after hour 1 is over, I'd still have the tv!

Of course, as soon as brothels start offering free tv's with every hour of sex, I'll be in real trouble.